Operation : Destroy Izaya!
by Ugly.Paper.Swan
Summary: Kida introduces Izaya as his boyfriend to Anri and Mikado, who are quite shocked at this unexpected development. Rather then accept it calmly, they are concerned for their friend and try everything to disrupt their relationship. Consequently, Izaya is rather amused by their mostly Mikado's futile attempts and decides to have some fun of his own.
1. He's Going Down!

**A/N: It's another fill from drrrkink meme. Man, I just can't stop filling 'em!**

**Disclaimer : Drrr is not my property, they belong to their respective owners.  
**

Summary : Kida introduces Izaya as his boyfriend to Anri and Mikado, who are quite shocked at this unexpected development. Rather then accept it calmly, they are concerned for their friend and try everything to disrupt their relationship. Consequently, Izaya is rather amused by their (mostly Mikado's) futile attempts and decides to have some fun of his own.

* * *

"So that's how it is," concluded one Kida Masaomi as he nodded his head in a poor imitation of a wise sage. His best friend who was sitting in front of him, Ryuugamine Mikado, stopped a spoon of cake halfway to his mouth in shock of the sudden confession. The quiet girl sitting beside Mikado was also in shock, though it was hidden well. The girl was, of course, Sonohara Anri. Another close friend of Kida.

Anri put down her cup of tea on the table and shifted her hands on her lap. It was quite obvious that she was searching for a response that wouldn't offend Kida. When she could not find the words, she just settled for a reconfirmation. "So…you two are now…dating?"

Mikado flicked his gaze towards Kida and his current _boyfriend_. The spoonful of cake forgotten and he waited anxiously for the answer from his childhood friend. He had silently hoped with all his might that Kida was just playing around. That before they leave the café, Kida would suddenly come up to him, give him a big noogie and scream aloud _"PSYCHE!" _in the most dramatic way humanly possible.

Instead, the boyfriend answered, with a smile that just seemed to rub Mikado the wrong way.

"That's what Masaomi said, I believe~"

"Ma-Masa…omi?" stuttered Mikado.

"Yes! So we came here together to break the news to you two and ask for your blessings! So give it to us now, I command you!~"

"For…our blessings?" asked Anri, again wanting to reconfirm. She just gave Mikado a sideways look after the boyfriend nodded vigorously while clinging on Kida's right arm. Mikado didn't take notice at all, being too absorbed in his own thoughts, as he watched Kida slapped his boyfriend's arm away playfully.

"Well…" started Mikado.

"Ah! Will you look at the time! Masaomi, we should go now, or we'll miss the previews for the movie!"

"Eh? Ah, you're right!" cried out Kida. He frantically dug out his wallet and dumped a few notes on the table. "Sorry for not being able to stay. You can just give me the change tomorrow at school, okay?"

"Hey, Masaomi? Hurry!~"

And with that, the pair was gone, leaving behind two high school students worrying about the fate of their friend. Both look downcast; Mikado staring at the piece of cake in front of him and Anri looking out the side window of the café.

"…I thought we were planning on scolding him with a smile if he ever decides to come back to Ikebukuro…" started Mikado. Anri heard a thump beside her and turned to face Mikado when the table rattled, her tea spilling a bit on the white tablecloth. It seems that Mikado had stabbed the unfortunate table with a ballpoint pen.

"…Indeed we did." She replied with a stoic face.

"…Izaya is up to something, I'm sure of it." Mikado continued, rage simmering in between said words.

"He always is," agreed Anri.

"Kida is going to be devastated once that rat is done playing with him," said Mikado as he pulled out the ballpoint pen from the table's surface and proceeded to destroy his uneaten cake instead.

"We'll stop him before that happens." Anri looked back out the window, a tell-tale cruel shine peeking out her uniform's sleeve. "We'll stop him."

"…I'm his childhood friend and I still haven't ever called Kida by his first name. Unacceptable…"

"I don't intend to give my blessings either…"

They faced each other once again, eyes filled with resolve and determination. They got up and paid for their orders before leaving the premise. Neither spoke for a while, their brains racking themselves up to come up with ideas to break Kida and Izaya apart.

Mikado let out a frustrated sigh. "My place, then?"

"Sure. Let's just stock up on 'pre-war conference' junk food and stationeries first before coming up with an offense strategy."

"Stationeries? Nah, got loads of 'em at my house. No need."

"Ok then. Just junk food it is then."

They turned towards the direction of Mikado's rundown apartment. Once again, silence fell between them. There was one thing and one thing only that keeps resurfacing repeatedly in their minds.

**Orihara Izaya is going down.**

* * *

**Ah, I'm having fun...I wonder if I should slip in a bit of MikadoxAnri somewhere in the future chapters? They look cute together!  
**


	2. Misunderstandings At Its Worst!

**And thus, Mikado and Anri starts to plot their evil scheme. But it's only the first day and they already have their setbacks! A filler of some kind before the big event...**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer : Do you actually believe that I own this awesome series?  
**

* * *

Both Mikado and Anri were glaring hard at the A0 paper in front of them. After an overnight brainstorming and tearing through a generous amount of potato chip bags, they have come up with only two ideas for their strategies.

**1. Use Saika and the Children to spy on Izaya and Kida at all times.**

**2. Use the Dollars network and abuse Mikado's admin status to contact certain people should anything bad happen to Kida.**

"That's all? Hours of staying up and these are the only things we can come up with?" wondered Mikado aloud. He leaned back on the wall behind him. Anri, who was beside him, put down her pen on the small rectangular table.

"Actually, we did come up with a few ideas, but most of them are trash. Albeit satisfying, we can't really throw a pie at Izaya's face every time he comes near Kida," replied Anri as she shuffled some used ball of papers into a rubbish bin. "And…most of last night we spent looking up the perfect recipe for chocolate chip muffins and baking them, remember?"

"And a damn productive use of time that was!" said Mikado as he raised his 8th chocolate chip muffin in the air for a toast. Anri raised hers as well, mirroring Mikado's actions.

"Here, here! A toast for the Perfect Chocolate Chip Muffin Evah version 5.0!"

"Hmmm…" pondered Mikado after he sank his teeth into the muffin. "Worse comes to worse, we'll just pelt Izaya with these."

"Please don't. It'd be a waste."

"True. These fluffy goodness are too good for that little troll."

A knock resounded at the door. Without thinking, Anri went to answer the door. Kida, who was waiting on the other side was surprised that it was Anri and not Mikado answering the door.

"Anri-chan? What…what are you doing here so early in the morning at Mikado's house? And why do you look like, uhm, you didn't have enough sleep last night?"

Anri froze when she realised who was at the door. "Oh shoot." She immediately slammed the door at Kida's face and ran back inside frantically. She got on her knees and quickly shovelled the used paper balls into the waste bin and motioned to Mikado help her get rid of the evidences.

Mikado, who was also surprised at Kida's appearance, quickly got up and pocketed the Grand Evil Plan (the name of the A0 paper) and turned around to see what other incriminating evidence of their activities, was. In his haste, he accidentally kicked his coffee table and tripped, falling on the kneeling Anri from behind.

"Ouch! That hurts!" cried Anri from the floor.

"Agh! Sorry Anri! I didn't mean to—"

A horrified gasp sounded from the doorway, the culprit none other than Kida. The three friends froze and looked at each other in awkward silence. Their brains working hard to try and figure out what to do next.

Anri: _'Please, please, please don't let Kida see what we were up to. God, he'd hate us if he knows we're trying to break him and Izaya up! Please don't guess correctly, please don't guess correctly! Our reactions yesterday were too obvious!'_

Mikado: _'Damn, what bad timing! Thank God I already put the Grand Evil Plan in my pockets. That way he won't find out about…Wait, is that the recipe for the Perfect Chocolate Chip Muffin Evah 5.0 I see Anri throwing out?'_

Kida: _'Anri here? She looked like she's roughed up? Compromising position? It hurts? And is that white corner of a something in Mikado's pocket actually a packet for…Aaaaah…I see…_

Kida suddenly smirking was beyond the other two's expectations. They had expected him to flip out or something for plotting behind his back. But smirking? That was totally unexpected.

"Ah…..naughty, naughty Mi-ka-do-kun~ Anri-chan~" teased Kida as he kneeled next to Anri and Mikado on the floor. The other two looked at Kida like he was some kind of monster coming out from under the bed. Did he find out? Was he so angry at them that he snapped and acted all Izaya-like? "So that's what you were up to after I left Ikebukuro! You took the opportunity of my absence and…made…your…move!~"

"E-eh?" Mikado remained in his current position and stared at his best friend confusedly and his right cheek was poked at Kida's last three words. Anri was also not spared from the confusion, though relief were starting to flood into her system because Kida had somehow didn't notice.

"Well!" said Kida as he stood up. "I don't want to be in between you lovebirds and your happiness together. So I'll just pretend to not have seen you this morning and tell the homeroom teacher that you two had a bad case of flu."

"Happiness?" asked Mikado.

"Lovebirds?" question Anri.

Kida moved towards the door and went out of the small apartment. He slammed the door loudly and screamed from the outside. "Jya ne! Good luck you two! Ah, I forgot to say! Izaya's bringing me to dinner tomorrow! See ya two later!"

"Ah! Izaya is going to make his move tomorrow!" Anri gasped.

"We need to hurry and think up of a plan now!" agreed Mikado. They turned their heads to look at each other and it was then that Kida's words and actions finally sunk in their heads. Kida actually thought that they were…

"AAAAH! WAIT KIDA! YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG!"

" I KNOW THAT I WANT YOU TO NOT GUESS CORRECTLY, BUT THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK IT IS!"

But shout after Kida as they might, Kida was already long gone with the misunderstanding; leaving behind two awkward blushing teenagers in his wake.

* * *

**Yes! The story's moving along, though very slowly. Izaya is going to take Kida for dinner on their next date. Stay tuned! :D**


	3. Here Goes Nothing! Part 1

**A/N : Do it, Shizuo.**

**Shizuo : *pretends to throw something in a trash can* Writer's block, writer's block. *Heaves and throws trash can into horizon* GO AWAY!  
**

**Enjoy the chapter~  
**

* * *

_How amusing… _Thought Izaya.

"Are you listening to me, Izayan?" Kida questioned angrily as he slapped his boyfriend's right arm, furious after noticing that Izaya was spacing out and looking at one of the ice cream truck vendors. They were currently in a middle of a date in the local park. Izaya, who was deep in thought, almost dropped his newly bought vanilla ice cream and turned towards Kida. He smiled when he saw Kida was puffing out his cheeks in anger at being ignored.

"I am, Masaomi. You were asking if I was checking that girl out? The one with the huge breasts?"

"Yes, I was! We're on a date, for goodness sake! Don't check out other humans while I'm here. I'll seriously get jealous!"

Izaya couldn't help but laugh out loud at the high school boy's tantrum, which in turn caused Kida to blush and turned his head away in embarrassment and focused on licking his own ice lolly with a hurt pride. "Oh my, Masaomi! As much as I love humans, I can assure you that you have a very, very special place in my heart. Riiiight here!"

Izaya pointed dramatically to his person. Kida, not impressed, kicked the informant's shin harshly. He then proceeded to bark at Izaya.

"Izayan, you pervert! That's your crotch!"

"Ah~ but it's true!"

"Are you an idiot? Your heart is here!" yelled Kida as he got closer and jabbed Izaya's chest hard. Izaya winced at the pain, but ignored it in favour of teasing his younger boyfriend who was currently riled up. He held Kida's poking hand with his empty hand, half-hugging the other.

"Aw, you can't move in there! This part is already occupied by Shizu-chan. And he takes up a lot of space too, because he's a giant!~"

Hearing Izaya's response, Kida went into another bout of jealousy and continued his jabs again and again with each word spoken. "Here, here, here, here, here!"

The struggle between the two caused Izaya to lose his balance and fall to the ground, subsequently pulling Kida as well. Upon hitting the ground, both yelped in pain. Izaya's vanilla ice cream was thrown a good foot away. Adding salt to the injury, it even landed in dog poop.

"Wha-? My ice cream!"

"Ah?" said Kida confusedly as he tried to get up from Izaya. He looked at his own icy confectionary and was relieved that it was still intact. Giving the man underneath him a triumphant sneer, Kida couldn't help but tease the older man.

"That's what you get for cheating on me. No ice cream for you, Izayan!"

When Kida tried to stand up after being satisfied with making fun of the other, his movement was stopped. Izaya was holding on to the front of his shirt. Even when Kida tried to push away, Izaya refused to let go.

"On the contrary, Masaomi. My ice cream is right here."

Kida's cheeks flushed red when Izaya took the liberty and gave the ice lolly a deliberate slow lick, closed his mouth over half its length and took a bite.

_And all while he was making eye contact with that sexy gaze and giving out a small mewl too! And that tongue! _Thought Kida in panic. He couldn't think straight anymore and let out a whimper.

"Well, will you look at that, Masaomi!" said Izaya suddenly, attracting Kida's attention. "I just stole your indirect kiss!~"

At that sentence, Kida's cheek coloured anew. Gathering what little left of his courage, he spoke.

"We-well, if you want a direct one, I can give you i-it."

"Well, why don't you?"

"Um…okay…" Kida nervously shifted his position a little and inched forwards slowly. Before he could kiss Izaya, an object whizzed pass in between his and Izaya's face, stopping him in his track. Turning his head to the left, Kida was confused at the unlikely object embedded in the ground next to the couple.

"A…ballpoint pen?"

_How amusing indeed…_ Reflected Izaya with a wide grin. Izaya thumbed the inside of the collar of his parka. Sure enough, the small hidden microphone and tracker is still there. Making sure that the stalker on the other end, or in this case…stalkers, could hear him word by word, Izaya stroked Kida's cheek and purred a little.

"Hmm…Now's not the place for that, Masaomi. Why don't we go to that dinner I promised you yesterday? After that, I'll even show you my favourite place in Ikebukuro."

"Where are we going? You wouldn't say yesterday."

"To a hotel, which name I won't tell you just yet. The desserts there are to die for."

"Aw, you won't tell. That's okay. I like surprises!"

"I know."

Despite himself, Kida couldn't help but feel excited at the promise of the dinner date and stood up. He held out a hand to help lift Izaya up and afterwards let Izaya lead the way. As the pair walked out of the park, the blonde vaguely heard someone shouting something along the lines of:

"No way! He's gonna get raped!"

* * *

**A/N : I am sorry for such a fail chapter. I blame the end of exams! I only get my best inspirations when I don't want to study and face reality. Is it me, or does Izaya sounded like he's an uke in this relationship? Oh well...  
**


End file.
